Japan

I have been to the hair dresser. He did an excellent job and it was the funniest visit to an hairdresser in my whole life. BUT, he did my hair the first time. And he did it different to Hiroko.

The more he cut, the more I looked like before going to Japan.

It was such a bad and sad feeling. I suddenly realised that my time in Japan is flying by way too fast.
Looking in the mirror, seeing me, when I was unexperienced, without having met the people I met in Japan, without having learned some basic rules about the japanese society, without knowing the varieties of japanese food, without being able to tell the difference between two japanese characters, without having one of the best vacations of my life, without having had free shoulder massages at the hair dresser, without trying the best rejected german fake cake, without knowing that friendship still exists across borders, without having been very close to the japanese jail, without feeling the biggest loneliness in my life so far, without having experienced the loveliness of nature and humans,without experiencing illiteracy, without meeting the kindest society in the world, without having seen the most beautiful eyes...

There I sat and my mouth was full of hair and my mind was sad.

In the radio they played today a japanese version of the "army of lovers" song "crucified". Flashback! It´s incredible what influence music has on my mood and life. Actually this song brought me back from the sad mood to the wakuwakudokidoki mood. I love life.

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Quote of the day (our translator):

"Usually, when its snowing it´s cold. When it gets warmer it starts to rain."

Beside the big satisfaction I feel (I have no idea why..) I had a small kickback from life. I wanted to get a new haircut. And now it´s the second day in row, that my hair dresser has closed. Fair enough, so I had enough time to go shopping: Australian beef, which I grilled and garlic bread. Tasty.



I also figured out, that I haven´t posted pictures from Japan since weeks. So here you go:

Baumkuchen is a big deal here in Japan. In my opinion the japanese version is good, but is completely different to german one. Who cares? I do not. I like both. The german one with chocolate and the japanese one with almonds.

What really makes me sick is an endless discussion with a small japanese women, who relocated to the US some years ago, about the differences in taste, texture and dough of both versions. SHE NEVER HAD GERMAN BAUMKUCHEN. But she insists that the japanese one is better. WTF?!

An original is an original. You can´t make it better or worse. Either it is original or it´s not. It can be different from the original but not better. Because than it would not be the original anymore. Confused? She was too.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baumkuchen

Midechan seemed to be so happy today. Which really made my day!!

Thanks for that!

Can two friends, opposite gender, be friends without having a sexual relationship?

That´s a question which runs trough my head since my teenage years (for more than 13 years now). In the beginning I tended to say "yes, later "maybe", now "no".

Why do I change my mind? Nothing to be afraid... but it happened that in the last months several of my friends had trouble with their friends or partners. I was talking to them quiet often which, most of the time, ended in a discussion about friendship and relationship.

Conclusion: as long as not both friends are in a stable and happy relationship, it´s not working with a close friendship, without having some kind of disappointed love /sexual relationship involved.

[Comments are appreciated]

It´s a weird feeling to know that only 4 weeks are left. In the beginning, before I went to Japan, I thought about the 17 weeks in total. I was hoping for a great time, but I did expect the worst time in my live, since nobody I know had been to Japan for 17 weeks in a row. All the guys I talked to said I´m crazy to stay when I´ve never been there before and even don´t know the culture.

What shall I say. I still love Japan.

Today I enjoyed the sun, listening to some great music.

While listening I struggled about some lyrics. My brother eventually broke up with his girlfriend, which reminded me of:

"...
Tainted hearts heal with time
Shoot bad love so we can
Stop the bleeding"

--- and ---

"I know I still believe he'd never let me leave,
I had to run away alone
So many threats and fears, so many wasted years
Before my life became my own"

Like my grandmother always says: "Other mothers have also cute daughters"




PS: In case someone is interested in my brother.. He is taller than me, more muscles, brighter eyes, blonder hair, but beside that we look similar.

The day is over. After constantly eating and drinking I nearly lost no weight during the last 2 days.

To have enough calories I changed my diet to Coke and potatoe chips today (and chocolate). From tomorrow on I will have normal food again. (I will miss the chocolate I think)

Physically I´m fit again. Today I was in the supermarket. Ok I felt a little bit weak, but this was ok, since I spent yesterday the whole day in bed nearly without any food. The weekend will be a quiet one I guess, but I feel like walking around somewhere.
The weather should be fine. So if some certain girl named Mide chan would like to join, just leave me a message.
However, I´m planning not to go to the japanese class this sunday (and so I make sure that Rumiko can not seduce me ;-)

After having 1 Meji milk chocolate and 1 l Coke I eventually feel better. Still I´m very weak, but my face looks not so pale anymore.

Can a virus be transferred via the internet? Sounds stupid, but I have no idea where I have the virus from. The only ill person I had contact with was my daughter. She was ill yesterday. But she is physically thousands of kilometers away.
Is it pure imagination that I´m sick? I doubt this. However, I feel better so I should use the time to get some more sleep.

...cabbage?

The night was horrible. Woke up at 2:30 in the morning and couldn´t fall asleep anymore. The whole time I feel like throwing up. Was it the cabbage?

The wife of my neighbour will move to Switzerland, because she got a new job there. He will stay in Germany because he owns a company. They own a house, have a dog and are pretty busy all the time. They also have 4 children. The children will move with her.

The dog stays with him, but it was her who wanted the dog by any means two years ago. I´do not know how they feel and if they are happy. I wouldn´t be.



This morning I realised that I am addicted to the onsen in the evening. It´s really strange. I figured out, that when I´m not going to the onsen in the evening following will happen:

- I don´t sleep tight
- some muscle is aching next morning (every time a different one)
- I feel kind of melancholic

My theory: Onsen, chocolate, body contact and other well known things will cause the production of endorphines in my body. Since I have not very much chocolate here in Japan and have not very much body contact (not to talk about the other well known things) I have to go to the onsen.

During the first weeks in Japan I realised that public body contact (like hugging) is not very common in Japan. So I´m really glad whenever I see a couple hugging. It´s not only my experience. Also other people have the same thoughts. In Germany for example its very common to hug a person If you like her/him and when you are good friends. It somehows shows that you will be there for him or her. In Japan it seems to be different.
Now my theory. I experienced that the onsen helps me to be happy and to relax. Most of the Japanese like onsen. Now guess why....

Onsen is the japanese chocolate.

I spoke with a some people (who have been to Japan or living there) about the hugging situation in Japan and all seem to be sure that a little bit more body contact may be helpful in having a closer relationship to other people. I remembered that I saw a long time ago a website from the free-hug movement. The basic idea is, that a hug shows you how valuable you are and to give a good time.
I wondered if this movement is popular in Japan. The shortest way to an answer was to google. Really there are some vids you find under youtube.com. Very reserved at first but after a while it seems like this really works over the borders of different societies.

http://youtube.com/results?search_query=hug+japan&search=Search

Most of the people I tell about the free hug movement are excited. I am too. But I never went onto the street with a big label around my neck saying: "free hugs".
Maybe it´s time to do so.

The company I worked before, not even 2 years ago, is bankrupt. I´m really glad, that I jumped off before. But I still have contact to my old colleagues. Some of them are good friends. I feel sorry for them. Most of them are nearly 60 and I doubt that they will find a job again.

I´m an emotional person. I think I´m too emotional. Great day yesterday in Yokohama. Today more or less melancholic. The reason? I don´t know. I feel alone. I can´t tell you why. I´m not alone. Yesterday I was out with Miwako and I was so happy and now I feel like 1 month ago, when Margie (my translator and now a friend of mine) went back to the states. I need a hug.

For dinner I made sandwiches. The are really god. Cabbage, Cheese, tomatoes, beef and some sesame sauce. Tasty!




Searching someone in saitama area. Free sandwiches for some hugs!

09:25 am
We supposed to start at 9°°. Because of a missing translator we had to wait for him. Now he´s coming.

09:45 am
Well the day will be more or less waiting and watching.

10:00 am
Our translator made himself comfortable in one of the corners.

10:10 am
He´s sleeping

10:52
He changed the position of his arms to gain more comfort on the floor.

11:05
He´s awake, a alarm went off. He´s still in the corner.

I can remember my mother telling me, that I´m the laziest person on this planet. In the past this entitlement went over to my brother. I think now I can honor our translator with this title.

11:50
Lunch time. He´s awake.

Yesterday 9:55 pm at Omiya station track 11:

"Hey man, what´s your name?"
" Carsten- and your´s?"
"Well, I´m Trevor, English teacher. Where are you going to?"

He´s looks like a short, slightly drunk american guy in company with a cute japanese girl.

" To Kagohara"
"Ahh, I´m going to Ageo. What are you doing here?"
"I just was in Yokohama with a friend of mine. And now I will go back."
"Where is she?"
"Uhmmm, she´s going home to Urawa."
"So you didn´t manage to bring her to your place? "

I wished him a nice evening and left.


Being in Japan means you´re an alien. And to be recognized as one. Being with a white girl means you are a tourist with your wife, who can understand Japanese better than you do. Being with a japanese man, means he´s your translator. Being with an japanese woman means she is either your translator or when she looks adorable she´s your girlfriend.

I hate that most people think in categories.

You don´t know if you like someone. If you feel like this you love:


Welcome and Departure
(Johann Wolfgang Goethe)

To horse! my pounding heart kept crying,
No sooner was it thought than done.
In evening's lap the earth was lying,
And on the peaks the night was spun;
Already clad in mist, the giant,
The oak, stood towering eerily,
Where darkness from the copse defiant
Turned many somber eyes on me.

The moon, from clouded hill appeared
And frowned upon the hazy lea,
The wind by quite wings was steered
And roared with horror over me;
To countless shapes the night was turned,
My feelings though were fresh and gay,
For in my veins, what ardor burned,
And in my heart, what glowing lay!

I saw you, felt the joyful sweetness
Of your kind eyes come over me.
My heart was yours in all completeness,
And every breath was yours to be.
A day in spring with roses blended,
It wreathed your face in loveliness, -
Tenderness, gods, for me intended,
Deserving no such hoped-for bliss!

But soon at sunlight's earliest minute
My heart grows faint to say goodbye.
Your kisses' warmth, what rapture in it,
What sorrow lingers in your eye!
I want; your head was lowered in sadness,
You watched me go, in deep distress.
And yet, to be so loved, what gladness!
To love, o gods, what happiness!

My head is exploding.

Today it´s grey and rainy. I slept until 8°° this morning and when I got up all my muscles and bones were aching.
I´m getting old.

Having no plans, feeling tired from the last weeks, seeing the weather and having aching muscles I decided to do nothing. That´s a lame excuse, I know.

After breakfast and doing the tests on http://www.alllooksame.com, where I terribly failed I watched the movie about the 10mph drive trough the USA on a segway. http://youtube.com/watch?v=DdR41fe9Zeg
A great movie.
This is the right start for the day. I´m full of energy. But what should I do. Go riding the bike? No. I want to do some artwork. Writing a novel? No. Paint a picture? Mhhhmmm.. No. Maybe do some photographs? No. Doing a film about doing nothing? No. So maybe I want I want to play an instrument?
Yes, my guitar that would be perfect, but where is she? Sh... Too far away.

Meanwhile my brain is working so hard. Where should I travel next? I would like to go somewhere on my bike or by a boat. Maybe down a river this summer. My daughter is too young for that. Skip the boat trip. The bike? No too young for a long distance trip. Some short trip around the corner? Maybe camping? Yes camping is fun. I could teach her how to surf. But she can´t swim. Let me think, so we will go somewhere, maybe by car, do something which does not involve deep water but some great experience. What about ...?

Instead of traveling around I could do some gardening this year to finish some of the stuff which is waiting for me since 2006. (For my excuse: I´m traveling too much to get the things done) About this thoughts I fall asleep...

Now I continue with reading the german version of Klaus Kinski "All I need is love". Great book, great artist, great language. I love the way it is written. Full of emotion. It´s a long time ago that a book affected me like this one. I´m so glad that I´m not living in the years during the war. But he also shows, like the film I´ve seen today, that I can accomplish whatever I want. But what do I want in life? I have a smart and beautiful wife, a daughter, a house and the opportunity to travel a lot. But I feel that there´s still something missing. But I can´t name it.

My japan problem is solved, without leaving the country, and I have a free weekend. I was expecting to work on Saturday and Monday (which is a national holiday) but I don´t. On Monday I will go with with a friend of mine to the museum of art in Yokohama. Isn´t the world an exciting place?

This evening we spent in "inu no hana" - the dog´s nose. Eric, our current translator was kind of drunk. Out of the blue he was discussing with the korean guys circumcision. A little bit strange. The all had guiness, which went not very well down their throat. When one of them made me compliments, that my stature, my head and my eyes would be very attractive to asien girls... This was the time when I thought it might be better to go. Which I did.

What makes a language interesting?

A language is only interesting if you already speak another language. I thought this morning about the solution of problems and came to the conclusion that whenever something is interesting for me there has to be a problem with it before. As a problem I define everything which has a deviation from the expected.
This may sound confusing but is very simple. Information is only transmitted when there´s a deviation from the normal state. The same about interesting things.
An example: The city I´m living in is my daily life. Nothing special for me, as most of the things which are special I do not consider as special anymore. When somebody else would visit this place they may find something which is unusual for them.It has a deviation from the things they know. So it´s interesting for them.
The problem, or deviation, makes something interesting. But if there´s nothing you can compare it to, there will be no deviation, no problem, no point of interest.

I consider the english and the german language as interesting since both have their roots in the same region but the are very different. Today I found another word which exist in german but there´s no equivalent in english, while the japanese language knows it.

"Blässe" (noun), which basically means someone has a pale face. The adjective exists in both languages, but the noun does only exist in german (and japanese). Another word: " Schadenfreude", having a laugh about the problems of another person.

All right. That´s a deviation which makes the languages interesting.

Why do I have these thoughts. I don´t know.

Remember the last indoor cycling or running event you saw on TV? It seems like whenever rounds are counted the sport is practised counterclockwise. Why is this??

I still can recall
the taste,
the sweetness,
the softness
of your melting kiss.

Do you remember the feeling when my tongue gently presses against you?
Was it green tea you had before you kissed me? I love it. Whenever I´m thinking of this moment when we first kissed I feel warm at my heart. My insulin level is rising and I feel addiction. Can you feel the same?

http://www.meiji.co.jp/sweets/chocolate/meltykiss/

(MOW is a very popular icecream in Japan,.packed in a paper cup.)


I remember the day when I first saw a mow. A colleague of mine was eating it. I thought how could he have an icecream in the lunch break? We just had lunch! Not even 23 hours later I was addicted. He sat there and had his mow, I had mine. I didn´t pay attention to him, so I finished my ice cream within a few minutes. His paper cup was still full. So I was staring at his mow all the rest of the break. It was a horrible experience but it was worth watching. The big differences between his style and mine (which was not a style at all), was that I penetrated my icecream with the wooden spoon to get some bigger pieces, while he just scratched the surface. Next day I followed the his style. It was not satisfying. Scratching on the top of an ice cream while the edge is melting is just a bad habit.
With the next mow I started to develop my own style of eating the mow. Instead of scratching at the top, I was forming my ice cream with the spoon, beginning from the edge, so that the melting part, where my warm hands are can vanish in my mouth. This style met my expectations of last longing and even better tasting ice cream. When the mows went by I started to form a round ice cream ball in the paper cup. Turning it around whenever possible to get also the lower melting part of the ice cream. Within 1 1/2 weeks I was slower with eating the ice cream than my Scottish colleague was.

Two days ago I had some problems with the internet connection in the hotel. Whenever you checkout they unplug the internet line. So when I returned to my room, the internet was not working. So I went down to the lobby and asked one of the girls for help. She understood perfectly what my problem was and asked me to wait a few minutes. The she started to type on her keyboard and wrote down something on a piece of paper. After a few minutes she handed me the paper.

"Because I should be connected I will check my connection. Please wait ina room."

Cute, she was using an online translator to get the message back to me.

"Imagination comes from work" Do you think so? It was written on one mans folder he was carrying in the train yesterday. It seemed like a slogan from a company he is working for.
While being to work today I thought a lot about this sentence. I strongly disagreed when I read this statement the first time. Being at work takes all your time and effort to achieve some results and having the work done. Normally. But then I realised something else. Whenever I´m working I´m daydreaming more than I would do in my private time.
And so I dreamed and remembered back the years. Most ideas for my private life (where to travel, what to do on the weekend and whom to kiss) I had at work, in the university or at school. Was that the imagination they meant?

On the other hand most of my ideas for work came when I was at home. Maybe I need the distance to a problem to get it solved. But how can I solve my current problem? It´s kind of Japan related and I´m still in Japan. To have the distance I need for solving the problem I have to leave the country which means that my problem is obsolate. Mhmmm maybe no gudo!